LearningSuccess™ Institute Blog

The Rigor (?) of Kindergarten!

2011-12-16T19:38:01Z

Last week there was an article in our local paper explaining a change in the birthday cut-off date for entering Kindergarten. By 2014 California children will have to turn five by September 1 to enter Kindergarten that year. And beginning next Fall, a new state law will allow children to take two years of kindergarten classes.

The title of the article was: Learning at Pace of Leisure - New prekindergarten law to allow

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children more time to pick up skills.

So far, fine. But here's what spoiled the story: "This is much better for making sure the kids who enter kindergarten are ready for the rigor of kindergarten," said Rose Dunn, director of instruction for the Las Virgenes Unified School District, adding that kindergarteners are expected to master more advanced skills than in years past.

The rigor of kindergarten??? Are your serious?

This reminds me of a clip of the comedian Sinbad talking about the ridiculousness of having to pass tests to get into kindergarten. It went something like this: If the kid can eat a cookie and take a nap, he passes!

What happened to "Learning at pace of leisure?" When are we going to stop this kind of forced education and allow kids to be who they are supposed to be developmentally? When are we going to stop causing stress and anxiety to young children and their families, for no good reason?

Four and five-year-olds are supposed to play, nap, laugh, explore their surroundings, tinker, finger paint, and experiment with musical instruments like drums and cymbals.

The thinking that is summarized in Ms. Dunn's statement above is precisely why we wrote, Midlife Crisis Begins in Kindergarten. The title is funny, but what is happening is tragic.

More and more, kids "are expected to master more advanced skills than in years past." And who made that rule?

Calling all parents and teachers...stop this madness, make your voice heard!

www.solimaracademy.com - we customize learning programs to meet individual student needs

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Teach Less Math for Better Results!

2011-12-13T21:35:27Z

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Here is an article from Psychology Today by Peter Gray, a specialist in developmental psychology and research professor of psychology at Boston College, that supports one of our foundational premises here at LearningSuccess™ Institute--students need to mature into skills such as math (and reading), without formal instruction and grades, until they are at least 10-years old.

Early formal instruction and grading of skills actually complicates and decreases learning. By the time kids are 10 or 11-years old they have already had many experiences adding things together, subtracting, even multiplying and dividing things up. Guided by their innate curiosity and their endless experimenting that we call play, they have "matured" into understanding how mathematical functions work in the world. They have a practical understanding of what they mean. When they are given the algorithms for them in 5^th or 6^th grade, they have a backlog of experience to apply them to. The algorithms are another piece to an emerging puzzle they have already been putting together for years. However, when they are given algorithms before they understand the function of addition and subtraction in the world, the algorithms are just mysterious strings of codes and procedures to memorize. Students don't know what they apply to or mean; no wonder they can't remember them.

The sad truth is that most teachers, educated in schools where the algorithm came before understanding, teach strictly by rote, relying primarily on a continual stream of worksheets and drills to do the teaching. Beyond basic addition and subtraction, they don't actually know why the algorithms work or what they are for. Woe be to those Inventing and Thinking/Creating students who ask "Why do we do it this way?" "What is this for?" and worse yet have a different way to work a problem.

We hope you enjoy this article!

When Less is More: The Case for Teaching Less Math in Schools by Peter Gray in Freedom to Learn, Psychology Today, 3-18-10

www.solimaracademy.com - we customize learning programs to meet individual student needs

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Help! My Child's Not Reading at Grade Level! Part 2

2011-12-12T17:09:32Z

Part 1 of this article ended with the question: What's the matter with basing a curriculum on reading level?

What is the matter is that many, many 9 and 10-year olds (as many as 40% of them) are not "developmentally" ready to read "4^th grade" material.

Their senses (vision and hearing) memory, and organizing functions of the brain

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

need more time to integrate with one another. So, if 40% of your students aren't yet developmentally ready for your curriculum, what would be the logical thing to do?

The current answer to that question in most school districts is to sound an alarm, label the kids, generate fear in parents and ship the kids out to reading specialists.

This solution is troublesome in three ways:

Trouble #1

No matter how much money we spend, no matter how much extra instruction we provide, no matter how much we bribe, threaten, reward or punish students, young people cannot integrate their brains faster than their inner, developmental clock allows. The saying, You can't push the river, comes to mind. As teachers and parents we often spend valuable time, energy and money pushing rivers and then feeling bad, sad and mad when we don't get the results we want, when we could be working WITH the developmental clocks of 40% of our students who aren't reading at "4^th grade level" when they enter the 4^th grade.

What we can do about it.

We can give this 40% of our students more time to practice their reading skills in their 3^rd and 4^th grade classrooms. Classroom reading instruction can be individualized and decentralized to allow students to learn at their own pace.

Trouble #2

We grade and rank young people on their reading ability. History and science are subjects and we study them for the information they give us about our world. However, reading (writing, listening and math, too) are skills that cannot be taught. To be a successful reader means that a child has matured into many skills that can be nurtured but not taught. There is a reason parents don't grade their kids on their walking skills, bicycle riding skills, or skateboarding skills. We would have many fewer kids mobile in these ways. We know fully well that walking, bicycle riding, and skateboarding depend on the coordination of a lot of separate abilities, including: depth perception, balance, coordination and muscle strength, as well as practice.

Reading is the integration of vision, hearing, and brain organization. Students have their own internal clock for when this integration takes place. It takes time and kids can't be threatened or bribed, rewarded or punished into doing what they aren't yet able to do!

What we can do about it.

Start celebrating all the tiny steps along the way that are leading to becoming a

fluent reader. As we say at LearningSuccess™ Institute: Success leads to more

success! Give students lots of time without pressure to develop to their fullest and

celebrate their accomplishments with them!

Trouble #3

Kids learn best in small doses (10-15 minute sessions), in familiar places, with people they trust in a spirit of play and discovery. To feel emotionally safe and comfortable they need consistent systems, methods and expectations. When they are taken to unfamiliar places to learn from unknown people using unknown methods for long, focused reading skill development sessions (40-60 minutes) the young people are being asked to learn a "new structure" for learning to read, in addition to the reading basics.

In addition, going to tutors almost always occurs after a full day of school when students' energy is low, and they need a snack and some free time, not more lessons.

What we can do about it.

The elementary school classroom can be the place where all students are able to get their reading needs met with the help of teacher-coaches who are well trained in best reading practices and are well versed in students' developmental stages of readiness.

We can replace reading worksheets and teacher-driven lessons with a systematic prepared environment with hands-on activities that students work through at their own pace.

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Let our students move, investigate, self-correct, and take breaks when they need to.

It's all possible! LearningSuccess Institute has been helping families and schools set up nurturing reading programs for more than a decade. And Montessori schools have been doing something similar for many decades.

If your child is struggling with reading and you have questions, give us a call - 805-648-1739.

www.solimaracademy.com - we customize learning programs to meet individual student needs

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Help! My Child's Not Reading at Grade Level! Part 1

2011-11-29T22:16:08Z

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I recently assessed the reading skills of three bright, capable third graders. They have been identified as "at risk readers", which means they are slated to be told that they are not reading well enough for what lies ahead, and to be shuttled to tutors (at great expense to the school district) where these kids will be put through a series of intensive exercises that may or may not be appropriate for them and may or may not improve their reading abilities.

In fact, it's likely that the increased concern and pressure from teachers and parents are likely to leave these three young people exhausted, afraid, and plagued with self-doubt. I want to stop what I see coming next for these kids. I want teachers throughout their 3^rd and 4^th grades and beyond to continue to nurture and support them.

This situation breaks my heart, and it isn't uncommon. It was such great fun to have these three young people sharing their enthusiasm for reading with me. We sat on the floor with our backs against the cupboards in my office. They leaned forward into their books and launched into "reading". They made sense of the long strings of letters. They were proud of their efforts and accomplishments and eager to share the one-page stories with me. It is obvious that their K-2 teachers have spent a lot of nurturing instructional time with them.

The reading assessment I did assured me that these kids will blossom into very good readers with a bit more time to mature, more practice, as well as appropriate instruction, and encouragement.

The little-talked-about sub-text to all that goes on in elementary school reading instruction is this: reading instruction, in most schools, stops in the 3^rd grade. In spite of the "No Child Left Behind" mandate, all the teachers in every elementary school around the country know that kids who don't have a 4^th grade reading ability when they enter the 4^th grade will be "left behind" to some degree.

Third grade is the year when kids advance from "little league" reading to the "big league", and everyone MUST advance because when they enter the 4^th-grade more than 50% of their learning will depend on their reading ability.

If students are not reading at a 4^th-grade level by the 4^th-grade, they are at risk of not "keeping up" with a curriculum that relies heavily on a student's reading ability and provides minimal instruction in reading beyond that point.

What's the matter with basing a curriculum on reading level? you might ask.

Stay tuned for Part 2!

www.solimaracademy.com - we customize learning programs to meet individual student needs

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10 Big Problems With Lecture-Based Learning | Online Universities

2011-11-07T20:02:53Z

http://www.onlineuniversities.com/10-Big-Problems-With-Lecture-Based-Learning

Students Who Need to Ask Questions!

2011-10-28T17:56:23Z

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"I try not to think too much in school. I get in trouble when I ask questions."

Elementary student

Janet's teachers and parents thought she couldn't focus. She asked a lot of questions that seemed unrelated to the lesson being presented. She was constantly being told to pay attention.

Our learning style profile results showed that Janet has an Inventing Disposition. That means that she needs to ask questions in order to process and make sense of the information.

Sometimes it can seem that the questions have nothing to do with the lesson of the moment. And the typical reaction of the teacher or parent is: That has nothing to do with what we are talking about. You need to pay attention.

However, if the parents/teachers would ask a few questions themselves, they would see how the question is actually related.

For example:

The topic is Early American History - the Pilgrims come to America. The student asks, How do airplanes fly, anyway?

What! Where did that come from? Well, let's ask the student:

That's an interesting question, Mark, what made you think of airplanes while we were talking about the Pilgrims?

And Mark will tell you! You've acknowledged his questions and now you can comment on his explanation and encourage the connection he made.

Many students are suffering in school (or homeschool) because they need to ask these kinds of questions in order to learn - but they get into trouble when they do!

Here is an interview Mariaemma did about this topic:

Students Who Need to Ask Questions - The Inventing Disposition

It is our job as Parents, Teachers, and Leaders across the globe to coach children to discover their amazing gifts - and to encourage them to follow their interests and passions. It is our responsibility to ensure that all kids grow up believing that they are smart and capable, and confident about the value of their contributions.

www.solimaracademy.com - we customize learning programs to meet individual student needs

Join our newsletter list and get your free downloadable gift: our ebook, Midlife Crisis Begins in Kindergarten!  

Education That Works: Lesson From a Gardener

2011-08-23T17:32:09Z

Recently I attended a presentation about gardening by Oscar Carmona of Healing Grounds Nursery. So what does gardening have to do with learning and school?

Image by Robert T Bell via Flickr

Here is the one thing he said that I can't get out of my head:

If a plant becomes diseased or is infested with pests, your first question should NOT be, what kind of pesticide should I use? Your first question should be, is this environment appropriate for this plant?

Wow - that is so simple and yet so profound!

Immediately, my thoughts went to education. What happens when a student is struggling in school? Normally, the first questions that are asked have to do getting the student fit in. Unfortunately, that often means, what medication should we use?

Instead, the first question ought to be, is this environment appropriate for this student? And if it is not appropriate, then please, let's not medicate to force the student to adapt!

Every person, every child learns in different ways. We need to begin acknowledging and honoring each student's strengths and focus on those. In order to be successful in sports, coaches capitalize on a star player's strengths. What they DON'T do is force that player to spend hundreds of hours trying to build up a weakness.

But in the traditional school system, students are told they need to work on their weaknesses and bring these up to at least average. What a waste of time!

The secret lies in focusing on strengths - then watch the magic happen.

If you know a student who is struggling with school, I hope you will take Oscar's advice and make this your first question: Is this program appropriate for this student?

And, if it isn't, search for an alternative that will bring success to that child.

copyright 2011 by Mariaemma Willis

For customized school program, visit www.solimaracademy.com

To find out your child's learning styles, go to www.aselfportraitonline.com

The Truth About Learning Disabilties

2011-07-14T21:10:29Z

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Do Learning Disabilities Exist?

Yes, they do, but true learning disabilities are rare. I believe that our educational system is too quick to blame "learning disabilities" and to label students as dyslexic, MBD, ADD, or any of the other familiar labels, instead of noting differences in learning styles and using some common sense: if the student can't get it this way, try a different way!

Even if the label is appropriate, so what? No label has ever "fixed" the problem or helped a teacher or parent devise effective teaching methods.

But, a statement such as "the student has trouble sequencing two-letter sounds" defines a specific problem and allows for developing an appropriate strategy.

In other words, the bottom line is: each student is unique, having different strengths and weaknesses, as well as different learning styles. All too often kids are labeled because someone is confusing the need for a different teaching method with a "learning problem."

Or, as I strongly believe, many "learning problems" are actually created because we don't take into account an individual child's unique learning timetable: they should all learn the alphabet in preschool, start reading in kindergarten and first grade, do fractions in third, start cursive in second, and so on.

Why? They don't all begin to walk and talk at the same time!

Some students need more time. Some students need a different program.

"In Their Own Way" by Thomas Armstrong discusses this issue: "It's time for the schools, and parents as well, to start focusing their attention on the inner capabilities of each and every child . . . the schools persist in labeling hundreds of thousands of children with perfectly normal brains as 'minimally brain damaged' or 'neurologically handicapped,' when in fact teachers simply have not found a way of teaching them on their own terms, according to their own unique patterns of neurological functioning . . .

"The part of the brain that thrives on worksheets and teacher lectures probably takes up less than one percent of the total available for learning. More likely, these stale methods of learning are actually what educator Leslie Hart refers to as 'brain-antagonistic' - they shut down potentials rather than open them up . . . It will end when parents decide to toss aside all of these labels and begin the task of understanding and nurturing their children's personal learning styles so that they can begin to learn in their own way."

What about when there really is a learning or developmental delay? The concept of "different learning style/appropriate teaching method" still applies. Obviously, the student needs to be taught a different way if the way that has been presented hasn't worked.

If you feel that you need special help, do contact a professional. Just make sure that the professional will be giving you specific techniques to work on specific "learning problems," and not just a label!

However, most kids who are thought to have a learning disability do not.

Now, a person might be having a "problem" learning something in particular, but this is not the same as a "disability."

For example, a 12-year-old student is very artistic and creative, reads adequately for her grade level, is physically active and is a great swimmer and runner, holds appropriate conversations, loves animals, is alert and friendly and enthusiastic, is at "grade level" in math, and needs to work on spelling and punctuation which are not her strengths.

Notice I said and, not but! The "and" gives a very different perspective. The and means that the latter phrase is one more part of the description about what she is like.

If we had said "but", that would have basically discounted all the previous statements about her. That is usually what is done: Mary can do this and this and this, BUT - meaning, all of that hardly counts because she has such a deficiency in this or that area, and this deficiency is the only thing we are going to notice about her. And then we label this deficiency a learning disability or learning handicap of some sort.

How dare we think of Mary as disabled! - this charming, bright and intelligent person who has many talents that you and I do not possess. We have done such a good job convincing people of this that those adults who grew up not knowing why they had problems in school are thrilled when they learn that they actually were, and are, "disabled," because this gives them a good reason for not having done well, as opposed to thinking that they are merely stupid.

There must be more to good education than this!

We believe that good education fosters
   - respect and awe for the uniqueness of each individual
   - excitement in discovering learning styles and teaching techniques
   - comfortableness with a different kind of education program that
       frees the spirit,
       combines fun with learning,
       views students as capable rather than disabled.

©2009-2011 by M.P.Willis, m@mariaemmawillis.com, 805-648-1739

Join our newsletter list and get your free downloadable gift: our ebook, Midlife Crisis Begins in Kindergarten!

You can find out your child's learning style profile now by going to learningstyleprofile.com - special $5.00 off each profile for Motivational Whisperer members, use discount code LSMotWhisp

To find out YOUR styles, go to personalsuccessprofile.com - use discount code PSMotWhisp for $5.00 off.

The profile is also in our book, Discover Your Child's Learning Style - it is available in any bookstore or online. Go to
www.discoveryourchildslearningstyle.com

For a school option that customizes for each child's learning needs, visit www.solimaracademy.com

Talent isn't evenly distributed?

2011-06-17T17:22:09Z

Image by TheArtGuy via Flickr

I love this story. It goes like this...

A bricklayer has a brother who is a gifted and famous violinist. One day the head of the construction company he works for says to him: "It must be find to have such a renowned man for a brother." Then, afraid he might offend the worker's pride he adds, "Of course we must accept the fact that talent isn't evenly distributed - even in the same family."

The bricklayer responds: "That's the truth. Why, my brother doesn't know the first thing about bricklaying. It's a good thing he can afford to pay others to build his house for him."
(excerpted from The Best of Three Minutes a Day - A Christopher Book)

Yes!!! Cheers for the bricklayer!

Every single person has an amazing talent or gift that is valuable and needs to shared with the world.

It is our job as Parents, Teachers, and Leaders across the globe to coach each child to discover his or her amazing gift - and to encourage them to follow their interests and passions. It is our responsibility to ensure that all kids grow up believing that they are smart and capable, and confident about the value of their contributions.

copyright 2011 by Willis & Hodson, Reflective Educational Perspectives LLC

Subscribe to our email newsletter and receive a gift: the eBook version of Midlife Crisis Begins in Kindergarten!

We customize K-12 programs to meet individual student learning style needs - at home, across the globe:
www.solimaracademy.com

To find out your child's learning style: www.learningstyleprofile.com
To find out your personal success style: www.personalsuccessprofile.com

Learning Success - Your Personal Style

2011-06-16T23:30:26Z

"For years I have advocated for self-investment rather than self-improvement...I like sharing introductions to people who assist us in investing in ourselves." Sumner Davenport, Solutions Consultant

Sumner and I connected on Facebook a couple of weeks ago. She generously offered to call me and walk me through how to link my personal page with my company page, when she noticed that the link was missing. We fixed the link, had a nice chat, and learned about each others' businesses. Next thing you know, Sumner had blogged about learning success and personal styles. The person she is about to introduce in the above quote is me!

Here is what she says:
"This week, I met wonderful woman who saw the need to assist our children and us as adults in our learning so we can create the results we desire, whether learning the answers in school or achieving our goals. I'd like to introduce you to Mariaemma Pelullo-Willis. She developed a powerful solution to our learning profiles and started Learning Success Institute. She offers tools for students that help them learn through their personal learning style, plus tools for teachers and parents. And for those of us who are now adults and need the re-learning she offers workshops and consultations."

Thank you, Sumner - we appreciate your help in spreading the word!

See the complete article on Sumner's blog: Self Investment not Self Improvement. Find out all that Sumner has to offer and "like" her FB page - click here

To find out your child's learning style: www.learningstyleprofile.com
To find out your personal success style: www.personalsuccessprofile.com

We customize K-12 programs to meet individual student learning style needs - at home, across the globe:
www.solimaracademy.com

Subscribe to our email newsletter and receive a gift: the eBook version of Midlife Crisis Begins in Kindergarten!

Celebrities Choosing to Home School Their Children

2011-06-15T21:20:34Z

I saw an interesting article today that appeared in a New Delhi newspaper, Hindustan Times, about celebrities who are choosing to home school their children. Among them are:

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: Jolie said, "Instead of tomfoolery in the classroom, I'd rather take them to a museum or teach them guitar."

Will and Jada Pinkett Smith: "We're in a technological age. We don't want our kids to memorize. We want them to learn, " Jada was quoted as saying.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes: "We like the one-on-one education, and you really have to go with what the child is wanting," Holmes said in an interview.

Celebrity couples John Travolta-Kelly Preston and Mayim Bialik-Michael Stone were also listed as home schooling their children.

While some of the stars choose to teach their kids themselves, others appoint private tutors, or have a family member do the teaching.

It sounds like these celebrities want more for their children than rote learning and a one-size-fits-all education. It sounds like they want to honor their children's learning styles and focus on their strengths and interests. We are pleased to hear that they are going in this direction.

How about you? Would you like to free your children and your family from the traditional education system. You don't have to be a celebrity to do it.

You can find out your children's learning styles now at www.learningstyleprofile.com

If you are already home schooling you can use this information to customize your child's program to meet his/her learning needs.

If you would like to home school but are afraid to try, give us a call - 805-648-1739 - or visit www.solimaracademy.com - we will coach you all the way!

Sign up for our newsletter and receive a free copy of the ebook version of our book, Midlife Crisis Begins in Kindergarten!

See the video version at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2lrsu9xwsU

A Teacher's Formula for Classroom Success

2011-06-13T15:06:40Z

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"Eighty-one-year-old Annie Dakim of Vermont celebrated her 48th year as a teacher by giving her formula for success in the classroom. It is the ability to discover and develop the bit of greatness that God has put in young people:

'Blessed are they who thirst after knowledge of how to direct rather than suppress spontaneous activities of children,' Miss Dakim commented."
(from The Best of Three Minutes A Day, A Christopher Book)

Thank you, Miss Dakim, for the many years you have given to bringing out the star in every child you've taught.

We customize programs to meet individual student learning style needs:

www.solimaracademy.com

Raving Students!

2011-04-21T22:03:55Z

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This week during a mentoring session with Tom Gostinger, a teacher/administrator at Landmark Academy in Port Huron, MI, he shared with us a terrific idea he'd had for an upcoming PD (personal development) day at his school. He has been reading the book Raving Fans by Ken Blanchard and was inspired by the idea of good customer service. In the book, there is a story of a customer wanting dill pickles for his hamburger and the restaurant not having any. An employee ran to get dill pickles and brought them back to satisfy the customer's request. This was great customer service!

So Tom said to us: Well, the students are our customers. Are we providing good customer service to our students? Are we responding to their requests for dill pickles? That is, are we meeting their individual learning needs?

What if we had Raving Students, who couldn't wait to get to school and engage in the activities of the day? What if they didn't want to go home? What if they loved it here?

It's time to write the sequel, he said: Raving Students!

We couldn't agree more. Thank you, Tom, for embracing the principles of LearningSuccess Institute and applying them in such creative ways at Landmark Academy. You, your team, and the staff are doing an amazing job. And, thank you, Ken Blanchard, for your inspiration!

www.solimaracademy.com - We customize learning programs to meet individual student needs!

Opportunities Versus Mistakes

2011-04-19T17:58:18Z

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We often have parents ask us what they can do when their children become upset with mistakes. For example, recently, a mom reported that her son became very upset when he took a quiz and missed one question. He did not focus on the 9 out of 10 that were correct, but on the one that he missed. He didn't think he should be making any mistakes at all!

This can be a tricky issue. We need to examine our own actions, behaviors, and statements to see if we are contributing to the child reacting in this way. Many parents say that it's not coming from them--they are always positive and talk in terms of how many questions or problems a student gets right. That may be, but are we giving them messages in other ways during daily life that suggest that "mistakes" are "bad"? After all, we all grew up with the idea that the best score is 100% and the best grade is A+. If your children are in a traditional school program, this is certainly the message they are getting there.

We also need to realize that the word "test" in itself gives the idea that the student will be "measured"--and that the score determines how "good" or "smart" you are. This is a major reason why tests fail to teach or to be positive motivators in most students' lives. They are usually associated with feelings of stress or fear, and often lead to disappointment, sadness, and beliefs of inadequacy.

In contrast, let's look at people who perceive "mistakes" in a very different way. For example, it is said that Thomas Edison did over 1000 experiments trying to invent the light bulb. He was asked how he could keep going after making so many mistakes. His response: What mistakes? Each time I'm just learning what doesn't work, bringing me closer to what does work. Similarly, the most successful sales people look forward to being turned down by potential clients. Their reasoning: the more no's I get the closer I am to a big "YES."

These people are not seeing mistakes--they are seeing learning opportunities! Many of our best inventions--styrofoam, post-it notes, etc.-- started out as "mistakes." The person involved was trying to do something else and something went wrong--lucky for us, someone saw beyond the mistake and a new invention was born. All of our famous inventors, scientists, and creative people made lots of mistakes--this is the only way they could get to the discovery they were looking for, by being willing to get it "wrong" so many times.

It's important to get this concept across to kids. And we need to make it "safe" for them to make mistakes. The number one requirement for learning is safety. If our students do not feel emotionally safe to explore, try, and take risks in their learning, their potentials will not be realized. For example, there are so many kids who stop asking questions in the classroom or who don't raise their hands to participate because they are afraid of saying the wrong thing or saying something "stupid."

In order to be successful at anything, including learning, you have to be willing to make mistakes. It's the "fail your way to the top" attitude: if I keep trying, discovering, experimenting, I'll get there. This is what separates the people who achieve their goals from those who don't. In her book, "Work Less Make More," Jennifer White says, "Fail often so you can succeed sooner."

The more we can see "mistakes" as opportunities and incorporate this concept into our everyday family life, the better it will be for our kids. One way to get help with this is to read stories together of people who turned mistakes into opportunities. There are several books on this subject. If you go to Amazon.com and put "mistakes" in the search box, you will get a whole list. Here are a few to get you started:

Mistakes That Worked, by Charlotte Foltz Jones (reading level 9-12 yr)

Accidents May Happen: 50 Inventions Discovered by Mistake, Foltz (9-12 yr)

Whoever Makes the Most Mistakes Wins: The Paradox of Innovation, Farson

Failing Forward--How to Make the Most of Your Mistakes, Maxwell

If parents and teachers continually point out what students are doing "right" and if "mistakes" are treated as learning opportunities rather than "problems," students will get the idea. Wouldn't it be great if our kids could grow up seeing opportunities all around them?!

Acknowledging that classrooms are abnormal environments

2011-04-18T20:43:41Z

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In a discussion with colleagues today, we concluded that most teachers start off with the wrong premise and that is why so many are disappointed, or frustrated, or furiously angry when students do not "behave" the way the teacher expects them to.

What is the premise teachers seem to start off with? It is this: School is a wonderful place that children should be eagerly seeking. They should be grateful for the opportunities to learn and should realize how valuable an education will be in the future. They should value their teachers, follow the rules, and work as hard as they can.

If students really felt this way about school then teachers would be correct in having certain expectations for behavior. But teachers seem to be continually surprised that so many students do not behave according to these expectations - instead they behave "badly."

What are these "bad" behaviors? They are called by various names: disruptive, disrespectful, loud, lazy, non-compliant...These labels refer to things like not doing homework, not paying attention, talking to the kid in the next seat, using bad language, calling the teacher names, refusing to work, etc.

Why all these "bad" behaviors? Well, the premise must be flawed: perhaps students are not eager to come to school, drink up all that knowledge, and believe everything their teachers tell them.

What premise do we start with then? It is this: the majority of students do not want to be in school!

It is time we acknowledge that it is not normal or natural to force a bunch of kids to be in a room for hours a day, day after day, for 12 or 13 years - a place that provides very little freedom, very few choices, and hardly any movement. Humans are not made to function in this way. This is an artificial environment that is imposed on students without taking into account developmental needs and brain research about how people learn. Then when they show any emotion other than blissful happiness - such as fear, anger, frustration - they are labeled and punished for their "bad" behavior.

Actually, we ought to cheer for those who act out or speak up. While it is true that students need to learn better ways of expressing their feelings and needs (and who will teach them that, by the way, if not teachers who welcome input, and power with instead of power over?), to me it is a sign of life that they are protesting the conditions that have been forced upon them.

A classroom is an abnormal place and most students do not want to be there. Even I, the straight A student all through school, suffered immensely trying to get through the endless days. I played the game and suffered quietly. Not all are able to suffer quietly - the hurt and depression they are feeling is too much, goes too deep. They are struggling to survive, they are literally crying out for help.

When I really think about it, it seems to me that it's a miracle that classrooms function as well as they do - that for the most part, kids comply. But it comes with a price, as the classroom is not a place where the human spirit can soar, and too many students leave defeated.

What would happen if teachers were truthful with their students? Hey, kids, I know you don't want to be here. I know it's unnatural to be crammed in here all year together. I know it would be much more fun to be free to do the things you like, to build a castle, or climb a mountain, etc. And you know what...we're in this together, and I'm here for you. Let's figure out how to make the best of it. I want to make this the best situation possible for you. I want to know what you need and when you're feeling bad or excited or happy or upset. We have these rules and there are things I'm supposed to teach you and not all of you are interested in this subject. But I will do my best to make it as interesting as possible and I want your ideas and let's see if we can incorporate something that is of interest to you in these topics.

This is the first step. If we can acknowledge that classrooms are abnormal environments and students do not want to be there, then we can look at our students with compassion rather than disapproval, and begin coaching them for success rather than failure.

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